Remember the first time you tried crack? You were cautious but gave it a try anyway, now you can’t pass a crack dealer without slipping them some $$$ for that sweet, sweet fix. Crack of course is a metaphor here, none of you are actually addicted to crack. But you are addicted to something that you initially thought was dumb and you would never try. Is it Starbucks overpriced and probably over sugared coffee drinks? You used to make a pot of coffee at home for a dollar, that’s $1. Why would you pay $7 for 1/4 pot now? Or maybe you needed gas for your car but there was no way you were going to go inside the station, but now it’s $5 beaver nuggets every fill up at Buc-ees. You are now addicted! Starbucks is your crack; beaver nuggets are required to complete a successful fill up.
Me? Yes I have a stupid addiction too, it’s called Top Dollar. Right now you are thinking “No, that’s a gambling addiction,” but you are wrong. I know the house has an advantage and I’m going to lose in the long run, so to me gambling is entertainment. Some people pay $150 to see the Rolling Stones tumble some dice. I pay $150 to watch a drunk lady do the same thing. Mick and the boys entertain; but while Mick is still looking, I can get satisfaction every time someone throws a hard six.
So how is Top Dollar different than most other gambling? Well let me tell you. First, I’m assuming you are familiar with how Top Dollar works, if not this probably won’t make much sense. As with most slots, getting to the bonus game is the goal. When you see the Top Dollar bonus symbol in the window and the lights start blinking in the upper marque, you are EXCITED! Wow, you get 5 offers! But you only get to keep 2. And the top offer could be $3000? Sign me up! And here it comes, first offer! $55. You aren’t keeping that, you still have 4 offers and maybe $3000, kick that $55 to the curb. Second offer! $40. Well that’s less than the first one, goodbye $40. Third offer! $45. Two offers left and one is probably going to be less than $50, so let’s keep this one. $45 in the bank. Fourth offer! $85. That’s the most yet, if we take the $85 we have $130 for our bonus. at $5 per spin that’s a pretty good return. But what about that $3000? Throw the $85 fish back, there’s a $3000 fish waiting to be hooked. Final offer! $25. The yodeler has fallen off the mountain, cue the sad tuba. Do you see what happened there? We chased the $3000 and instead of $130 we have $70.
So now you ask, “Why do you keep playing if you are disappointed almost every time you achieve your goal? Why not go play Wheel of Fortune instead? At least when you get a spin on Wheel you know the worst outcome (that number just to the right of the top prize) and aren’t teased with the wheel stopping 5 times on unknown spots.” Why do I keep playing Top Dollar? Because one time I got the $3000 so now I’m addicted.
If you, like me are addicted to Top Dollar, check out a really interesting article over at Flip the Switch about how IGN works to update their slots while keeping the nuances of the games we love to hate. And if you have figured out the algorithm for which Top Dollar offers to take, write a book and sell that golden fleece.